Our motto: More than you’ll ever want to know. And then some.
Our penultimate day of cycling—and it’s hard to believe that by Thursday evening our time we’ll be in Vienna.
We’ve spent the previous two nights at a modest, conveniently-located hotel on the south bank of the Danube (and why is it that all of the immodest hotels are so inconveniently-located?) which is why we start out on the south bank today, after a quick pastry-stop in Melk. We switch to the bicycle path along the north bank via a bridge just east of Melk.
If there is to be a theme for today’s ride it would be one of:
- Grapes;
- Wine; or
- The vendange, or whatever the German word for vendange would be
For (1) we are now entering the land of vineyards, which basically fill all of the space between the river bank and the cliff-like bluffs in back, and (2) it is harvest time. They are mostly green grapes, though we do see the occasional vineyard planted in a red varietal—but I haven’t had a chance to research the subject, so I leave it to you who read the blog, to fill me in via the comment sections below.
My friend T for example—who is a real wine buff, unlike myself, who is decidedly not—might be reading along quietly in the background. Traditionally, at about this time in my cycle-travels, which is to say: just as I’m ignorantly passing though one world-renowned wine region or other, T will finally overcome his natural reserve to express his shock/amazement/disappointment that I am not taking advantage of the opportunities that are on either side. He has occasionally also offered a kind of remote sommelier service via email, advising us as to which local wine would go best with our evening meals. A good man, T. In any event, here are some photos to aid in your œnological research:
Other things were available at roadside, such as Bosc pears, or apples, which go for 2 per euro, or 1 euro per small plastic bag. We purchase some pears to eat at lunch (and one or two of our party may also have retrieved an apple or three from a neglected orchard, which confirmed its neglect by the carpet of fallen fruit beneath many of the trees; our attorney advised us to use this in our defence, if charged).
It’s a busyish road, since it is harvest time, and tractors are liable to suddenly appear from side roads. There are also—abruptly, it seems to me—hordes of other cycle tourists passing along this road in (to offer several synonyms) throngs, or clusters, or small mobs. I observed one such group, approaching a bend in the road, the lead rider of which suddenly shouted “Truck up!!!”—I’m not sure exactly how many exclamation marks she used, but three at least—a cry that was immediately passed back down the line (““Truck up!!!”; “Truck up!!!”; “Truck up!!!”; you get the picture). We four are too small a group to be considered a throng, and we rarely shout, so we pass like relative ghosts among them.
Venus
The site that had perhaps been highest on my “must see” list as I was reading the guidebook before our departure, was the small town of Willendorf in der Wachau, where the famous Venus of Willendorf had been found during archaeological excavations in 1908. The fact that Willendorf is located on the north bank of the Danube had led to our decision to cross to the north path this morning, rather than continue along the south.
The Venus of Willendorf is not the only Neolithic fertility goddess (the current understanding of her purpose) figurine to have been found, but she is certainly the most famous, and she is strikingly modern-looking to my uneducated eye (a touch of Italian-Futurismo perhaps? Henry Moore? Barbara Hepworth?).
The original figurine is quite small, approximately 11.1 centimeters (4.4 inches) tall, so the large-scale reproduction situated near the original discovery site gives quite a different impression than the original, which is small enough to have been held in the hand. The original Venus figurine is now in the Natural History Museum in Vienna, so we might pay her a proper visit later.
Here are a couple of links that direct you elsewhere for further information:
- Wikipedia page on the Venus
- Some recently discoveries about the Venus figure
A samaritain in red Spandex
As we near our goal for the day, a “biker” hotel in Traismauer (Note: the “Spandex and Goretex” kind of biker, rather than the leather-jacketed kind) a samaritain in red Spandex suddenly appears, asking if we need help finding our way among the many branching paths. We do, and he—Robert—leads us over the busy bridge to the south path. ~15km later we reach our destination, cycling into a brisk headwind. Tomorrow: we take Vienna.
Coda: An important note from M, co-founder of The Church of J2 and M
I might have made a slight error yesterday when I said that the number of parishioners had doubled. It turns out that one of the new “yes!”es was actually a “maybe”; and the other was some kind of misdial (she said that she’d actually been intending to sign up for yoga). So we’re still at two.
Our partners, F and J, are still holding steady with “possibly; we’ll get back to you later.” Which is actually kind of frustrating, since the whole purpose of us starting the church was to have some sort of official agreement that J2 and I would be allowed to tell them what to do, and that they’d do it snappily.
So there’s what I guess we’d have to call “a delicate negotiation“ going on right now. F and J say that they might agree to join The Church of J2 and M—and the boldface is kind of nice, don’t you think? It was our graphic designer’s idea; she calls it “branding”—but only if we revise the commandments slightly, which on the surface seems fine (J2 and I consider ourselves to be very reasonable Bishops or Archbishops, or whatever the heads of religions call themselves; is it Gods?). We’d be fine, I think, with a few slight tweaks of the Commandments.
But when I indicated that we might be open to a tweak or two, F and J suddenly revealed that what they meant by “minor tweak“ was the replacement of all the “Thou shalt”s with “Could you please”s. They clearly don’t understand the difference between “a commandment“ and “a request.” (Nor do they know the meaning of “minor”! But that’s another matter. Don’t get me going on grammar and punctuation, or we’ll be here all day!)
Anyway, as I was saying: “Could you please” is not at ALL the same as “Thou shalt”; “Could you please” is much less emphatic, less “fire-and-brimstone, pound on the pulpit”. Our religion just wouldn’t have the same oomph if we had to water down the “thou shalt”s. We might be willing to leave out the “snappily“ part, but that’s as far as we’re willing to go at present.
After all, the whole point of The Church of J2 and M was for J2 and I to have a few people (more if possible) to boss about. And if the Commandments get weakened down like that, well it just wouldn’t be the same.
To end on a more positive note: we have a new Pope! F, a famous fellow-blogger from Cork, as part of her application to become a parishioner with The Church of J2 and M, indicated that she’d always wanted to be Pope. So Pope it is!
We’ve got our seamstresses working on some sumptuous new brocade vestments for F, and simply await her choice of Pope name. Until then you can refer to her as Pope New-Name-Still-To-Come the First
Danube to Dalmatia 
I have missed so many opportunities to comment on your blog – you may be breathing a sigh of relief?! But at long last I have found the comment button! And my main thought is what a wonderful trip you have had with all the autumn colours. Have fun in Vienna (I could wax lyrical about Vienna’s wonderful housing system……but I won’t!) Alastair
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Delighted to know that you’ve found the comment button! I, too, am enjoying the benefits of new glasses! 😊
I also remember our discussions (on our Eurovelo adventure with J) about social issues. So I’d look forward to being lyrically waxed! 😎
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J and F and being most unreasonable. I’ve chosen my name – Pope Spallebiondi 1. Catchy, don’t you think? I await sumptuous garments ( recycled, please) and will eventually call an Ecumenical Council.
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